


Walking Disasters

by queenofcups



Category: All For the Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: 5+1 Things, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-06-02 22:46:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 17,934
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6585652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenofcups/pseuds/queenofcups
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Andrew and Neil were never going to be a normal couple but for some reason this is really hard for people to understand. </p>
<p>Or: five times people questioned Andrew and Neil’s relationship (+1 time they didn’t give them a reason to)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The new freshmen foxes were, as expected, pretty bad at Exy. Neil didn’t really fault them for that, he knows that he wasn't exactly the best either when he signed on at the beginning, but it was endlessly more frustrating being on the other side of things. He could almost sympathize with Kevin.

Almost.

“C’mon everyone pick up the goddamn pace, this drill is supposed to be run at twice this speed. Do you want to embarrass yourselves out there?” Kevin was yelling at a pitch that wasn’t really warranted for summer practices, but no one expected any less from him. Neil simply rolled his eyes and dodged Matt’s defense, feet dancing light across the floors and pushing himself towards the goal, scoring with a swoosh. After getting his new racquet Neil refused to let it be his weak point and practiced so often that it now felt like an extension of his arm.

Now, though, it didn't really matter as the offensive drills crawled at a snail's pace towards the goal that Renee was halfheartedly defending, more interested in observing the new foxes than anything else. Her empathy was an annoying to Neil but accepted anyway as an inevitable character trait.

On the other end of the court Andrew was acting as a far more detached goalie as Dan and Nicky tried to explain the Foxes’ defense to the new recruits. Aaron, as expected, expressed little to no concern and was looking idly bored on the sidelines.

Summer practices had been running for a month now, and the foxes had all fallen into their roles once more, leaving the freshmen to try and fill in the gaps. Neil tried to pay as little attention to that drama as possible, but unfortunately some of it managed to seep through his walls.

Returning to the end of the line, Neil unconsciously noticed, out of the corner of his eye, the defensive drill beginning again before stopping, suddenly, moments later.

“Shit!” Dan yelped, and Neil whirled around to see one of the freshmen wincing on the ground, holding her ankle. Nicky and Dan were kneeling next to her, talking in low concerned voices while Aaron looked on, still bored, but with a single eyebrow raised. It was at least revealing more interest than Andrew, who was leaning against the goal, staring off into middle distance.

Sighing, Neil waved at Matt to continue the offensive drill as he peeled out of line and headed to the other end. Jogging towards the huddle he grabbed the bottom of his helmet, yanked it off, and shifted to cradle it in his elbow. “Hey Dan, what happened here?”

Looking up she didn’t seem that surprised to see him, her face settled into a generally pissed off expression, which meant things weren’t too serious.

“Well, Neil, there just so happened to be a minor defensive dispute between Claire and Andrew here.” Dan sighed in exasperation and Claire looked near murderous, which really explained it all. It was those who fought back hardest that were often knocked down first. She was flushed red and seemingly trying to hold onto her hurt pride. Neil, suitably understanding, looked around and just so happened to catch Nicky’s disapproving eyes.

“Nicky can you bring Claire to Abby? She’ll need to get it checked out but I’m thinking nothing too serious, it’ll be a day of ice and rest.” Dan’s lips quirked but she still let him direct the action. Recently she had been relinquishing a lot of her captain duties, keeping silent and encouraging Neil to step up to his vice-captain role.

Neil had found it surprisingly easy to take a leadership position within the foxes, but it was still a bit weird when Nicky’s face went immediately accepting as he offered Claire an arm up. The redheaded freshman took it with a rather sour face, flashing Andrew a dirty look before hopping off court, stubbornly not letting Nicky take too much of her weight. Nobody expected Andrew to respond.

Dan sighed quietly, shaking her head as she stood up. Turning to Neil, she met his eyes with a long-suffering expression. “Seriously, though, is he ever soft? Like even in the slightest? Even when he’s around you? The day he lets himself feel anything is the day hell freezes over.” It was all said in an undertone, direct to Neil, but over her shoulder he noticed Aaron smirking as if he knew exactly what they were talking about.

Neil knew Dan didn’t really want an answer, which was good because he didn’t have one. Looking at the two freshmen defenders left, whispering to each other and nervously eyeing Andrew, Neil asked “But she did something wrong, right? Whatever it was use this to teach the others, we don’t want a repeat.”

Smirking, Dan just shook her head and used her gloved hand to punch him in the chest. “I hate that you think like him now.” Neil gave her a small shrug in return. He knew the truth behind her statement, because sometimes his ability to translate Andrew into words was his most valuable asset on their team.

Making his way to the goal, Neil tried to make eye contact with Andrew, but the goalie was obviously uninterested by the entire proceeding and had disappeared into his thoughts.

“At this rate she’ll break by the end of the week,” Neil said wryly, stopping to stand a foot away from Andrew and watching his face for any hint of understanding.

When the corner of his eyebrow twitched unwillingly, Neil knew he had his attention.

“She’s getting annoying, it better happen sooner than later.” Andrew muttered, unrepentant as always, and Neil hated the fact that it made his lips turn up at the ends. They were really becoming predictable.

“Hitting her in the legs was a bit risky, though, yeah? We really don’t need any physical injuries at this point; sidelining the freshmen just means it’ll take them longer to get on our level.”

“Are you implying, Josten,” Andrew said, voice amused as he finally turned his head to look up at Neil through the thick plastic of his mask. “That I should stick to psychological aggression when it comes to the freshmen? A pretty interesting approach for a vice-captain.”

“What can I say? I live to please,” Neil saluted him, meeting his raised eyebrow with a smirk before backing away slowly, “Merry Christmas Mr. Minyard.” It was funny that Dan thought Andrew was the only one with edges. Softness wasn’t inherent in either of them, but that was a secret Andrew and Neil shared only with each other.

He met Dan’s eyes as he headed to the other side of the court, raising his chin in acknowledgement that the situation had been handled. She waved him away before turning back to her lecture, Neil took that as his cue to pull his helmet back on and head into the fray.

* * *

 

Coming back from a late shower that night, Neil was wearing his softest tee shirt and sweats, expecting just to lie down and pass out for the night. A combination of the long day teaching drills and the beginning of midnight practices had Neil’s shoulders feeling heavy and his back aching. Once he reached his bed, though, Neil realized that Andrew had taken up residence while he was gone, stretched out along the wall with his back propped up using Neil’s pillow. He didn’t acknowledge Neil’s presence, eyes instead casually scanning the Russian textbook propped up on his lap. It was a bit surprising but not out of the blue, so Neil just shrugged, climbed into the loft, and laid down, his head facing the foot of the bed, feet by Andrew’s hips.

Rolling his neck to get comfortable, Neil had to slap a hand over his mouth to stifle a yawn. “So what are we up to now? More vocab?”

Andrew just grunted in reply, which was really confirmation enough.

The two of them were on a quest to learn as much Russian as they could before the season started. Neil found it oddly trilling and strangely personal to share a language with someone. He wasn’t exactly sure if Andrew chose Russian because it was one of the more obscure languages or simply because it was the first language department he broke into, but either way it was a clear barrier that they put up between themselves and the world. Maybe, Neil allowed himself to consider, when a new barrier goes up another one has to come down. Even thinking such a thing made his stomach clench with a mixture of fear, adrenaline and something like excitement.

Folding his arms, Neil put his hands behind his head and looked down the bed at Andrew. The boy was, as usual, silent and stony and Neil felt a little stupid, all the knots suddenly heavy in his stomach.

As if he could read Neil’s mind, Andrew began rattling off a list of words without warning.

“Bear, медве́дь. Cat, кот. Dog, соба́ка…” He blew through ten words, waited for Neil to sleepily relay them back, and then threw out ten more words without pausing. Neil was happy to note that they had moved from color vocabulary, which had been absolutely thrilling, onto animals, which was, at least, a little more interesting. They had already learned the alphabet and basic sentence structure in the couple weeks of vacation time they had between the end of school and the start of summer practices. Now it was time to just memorize as much vocabulary as they could find.

Eventually Andrew decided that Neil had the hang of rabbits and wolves well enough to move onto a new list. Unfortunately flipping through the third level Russian textbook gave Neil’s traitorous brain just enough to give up on the waking world and drift into sleep.

It was a peaceful two minutes before Andrew’s arm clamped down heavily on Neil’s calf, startling him awake and up on his elbows.

“Shit!”

With an unamused eyebrow raised, Andrew just tightened his grip until Neil hissed at the pressure and shook him off.

“Wimp,” Andrew snorted with his typical level of disinterest. Regardless of his expression, though, Andrew shifted enough to turn the pillow horizontal and then looked significantly at Neil.

Reading between the lines, Neil ducked his mouth into his shoulder to hide the small smile that bloomed on his face. Shaking the hint of affection away, Neil pushed himself up to shift around and drop his head on the empty half of the pillow, careful not to brush Andrew in the process. For his part, the other boy looked absolutely unaffected and had even taken to trying to decode the textbook exercises.

Neil knew Andrew’s language, though, and it was always his actions that spoke the loudest.

So when Neil fell asleep next time, Andrew didn’t wake him.

The next morning Neil woke up slowly, five minutes before his alarm went off. This was almost as surprising as the fact that Andrew was still in his bed, arms crossed and body stiff like a disapproving corpse. Neil took his time tracing Andrew’s face with his eyes, looking at him in the way that would have Andrew scoffing, grabbing his chin and forcing his gaze away. But now he could smile at the boy by his side, at the boy who felt more than people like Dan and the team gave him credit for. They treated him like a well-disguised monster when in reality he was marvelously, if not miraculously, human. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title taken from Walking Disaster by the Wombats  
> (Also FYI Wombats + 21 Pilots = Andreil Playlist)  
> please yell at me to finish this omg i have 2 chapters left to write


	2. Chapter 2

Neil wasn’t one to be unreasonably optimistic, so that’s why he was only a little hesitant when he told the press that the new lineup was doing shockingly well. It was something about the way they fit together, and while their personalities hadn't balanced out yet the sole fact that they were Foxes meant that they understood each other. They were all fighting on common ground.

That didn't mean their games were any less aggressive.

Their second game of the season had begun at a fever pitch, their opponents riled up and desperate to prove themselves against last year’s champions. By the second half, the Foxes are ahead by three and the other team took this as a cue to raise the bar.

Neil’s defender had been getting away with ridiculous pushes and shoves for the entire first half, and Neil was unsurprised to see that his replacement, an intense looking girl with the last name El-Amin, was equally, if not more subtly, aggressive.

That just meant he had to dodge smarter. Neil’s plan worked for the first five minutes, which was just long enough for him to get comfortable. That was his first mistake. The second came when Kevin heaved a pass his way and Neil scrambled to catch it, the ball landing a bit awkwardly in his net. This was distraction enough and his defender took this as her cue to bodycheck him straight into the wall.

The combined pressure of his racquet, sandwiched against his chest, and the edge of her shoulder as she swooped down and up into his sternum sent the breath rushing out of Neil, crushing his ribs in until he swore he felt something shift. It wasn’t until later that Nicky told him that the impact had forced a choked gasp out Neil’s throat. It had been a long time since such a vulnerability had been forced from his mouth.

The lack of oxygen made his vision fuzzy and gray, like white noise on a TV screen. Neil lost all sense of direction as he went limp, slumping to the ground. The reaction wasn’t intentional, and as the defender moved on, now in possession of the ball, Neil’s last thought before collapsing was that he hoped this wasn’t being streamed live.

Then he blinked out of consciousness.

A piercing whistle brought him back to reality, not only thirty seconds later.

Suddenly regaining control over his body, Neil gasped for breath, uncaring of the pain hot in his ribs. In a panic, he pressed his hands against his chest, illogically trying to force himself into the real world, trying to force himself into remembering that he was alive. Ripping his gloves off, Neil was glad that he at least fell down with his back pressed against the glass, because with the stiff pads and his loose limps he would have rag-dolled onto the court, finding himself underfoot with a team that was out for blood.

Pushing himself sideways and onto his elbow, Neil rolled his head backwards, still hyperventilating but on the alert, trying to see what had caused the referee’s whistles.

Fierce and angry, Andrew was standing not a yard away with Neil’s defender pressed into the wall, a hand twisted angrily under the mesh of her face guard. He was using this grip to shove El-Amin’s chin upwards, vibrating with silent anger and daring her to move, as if he would take it as a cue to snap her head clean off.

Andrew’s reputation must have preceded him, because the five foot seven inch guard was suitably cowed, her racquet on the floor and hands pressed, shaky, against the glass wall.

Dan had run up and was currently standing about a foot away from Andrew, careful not to go to near but whispering to him in an angry undertone as if he would listen to her. A bit further off Matt was doing his best to convince the ref that they could handle this situation. He wasn’t getting very far.

Neil knew the only way the game would go on without an unnecessary decapitation would be if he could get up and glare at Andrew enough that he’d release the girl. There was the small problem, though, when his legs refused to obey his brain’s foggy realization. Trying to move was like swimming in something sticky and heavy. Nicky ran over when he realized Neil was struggling to get up, using the wall at his back as a crutch.

With a worried look in his eyes, Nicky offered Neil his elbow. Neil tried to shake the fuzziness out of his head but only succeeded in giving himself a headache, the sharp pain causing his stomach roll. He swore angrily under his breath and prayed this wasn’t a concussion, he would not allow himself to be taken out of the season so early. With a tight smile in thanks, Neil took Nicky’s proffered aid and hauled himself up to standing. It took a good second for Neil to steady himself, his vision still swaying and rocking as if he was standing on a boat. Looking up he saw that Andrew’s attention had at least shifted from the apologizing defender to his recovery.

Patting Nicky’s arm in dismissal, Neil walked in a good impression of a straight line towards Andrew, who looked less than impressed by the attempt as a whole.

“What’d I say about fighting my own battles?” He asked Andrew in German when he got close enough that he wouldn’t have to raise his voice. The girl against the wall flashed a frantic look Neil’s way before Andrew gave her a shake in warning.

“It was getting boring watching you be pushed around,” he casually rolled his head in Neil’s direction as if all this was his fault. “You should really change that up.”

“Shut up and put her down, I’ll be fine, the last thing we need if for you to be ejected from this game.” Neil watched as the death grip Andrew had on the girl’s neck loosened enough that she could return to standing normally. Luckily she was smart enough to not run off immediately, as Andrew flicked his eyes up and down Neil, as if checking for any noticeable injuries. Now that he was standing, Neil felt the telltale ache that sharpened every time his chest expanded with a breath. He ran through a checklist of symptoms and decided that, at worst, he had bruised ribs, but that would be enough for coach to demand he sit out the rest of the game.

“You _will_ be fine?” Andrew emphasized, unimpressed.

“I _am_ fine, but I could be…fine-er?” Neil said, wincing at how dumb he sounded, but it was apparently convincing enough that Andrew took a step back from El-Amin. Neil flicked a look at Dan who waved at the other team to collect their player.

As the girl scurried away, though, Neil couldn’t help but call out, “Nice hit, by the way.”

She didn’t even both with a response. Ever his antagonist, Andrew snorted in controlled distain.

“C’mon shithead, you’re going to get a delay of game at this rate, God knows how your little junkie heart would take that.” With that Andrew turned around and made his way back to the goal, as if he wasn’t the one who caused the commotion in the first place. Neil watched him leave before looking up at the clock; apparently they had wasted just over a minute with their dramatics. Neil couldn’t decide if it had felt shorter or longer, he had forgotten the strange time warp that physical trauma could cause.

Matt finally let the officials through and Neil had to politely talk them out of giving Andrew a yellow card, spouting some bullshit about his defender being the original aggressor. They didn’t seem entirely convinced but led him off the court anyway. Neil nodded at Jack as the freshman ran on as his substitute and waved blandly at the crowd as they applauded his return to the bench.

When the game finally resumed, Coach walked over to watch Abby gently prod at Neil’s ribs. She looked up after a while with a sigh, “Bruised, he can’t go back into the game, we’ll have to ice him tonight. I think he’ll be able to practice again tomorrow, but nothing too strenuous.”

Both Neil and Wymack nodded their heads at that and settled back to watch the rest of the game play itself out. In the past Neil would have argued, but he knew that taking a deep breath would leave him wincing in pain, he couldn’t help his team in that condition. Abby took an ice pack out of her bag, cracked it down the middle and shook it, waiting for it to cool down before swaddling it in paper towels and handing it over to Neil.

Neil took it gratefully and braced for a moment at the burning cold. Turning back to the game, Neil was just in time to watch Dan hurl the ball into Kevin’s net for a neat assist that became their sixth goal. Now they were four points ahead and Neil knew that Andrew had clicked into the game and wasn’t about to let another goal go through. This was going to be a win.

Coach seemed come to that conclusion too, because a couple minutes later he subbed Matt out and put Aaron back into the game. Pulling his helmet off, Matt plopped himself down next to Neil and winced sympathetically when he realized that the striker was holding an icepack to his ribs underneath his jersey.

“How bad is it? I’m guessing you’re not going back into the game today.”

“Not if I want to breathe tomorrow, no,” Neil said, giving Matt a wry smile.

The other boy just laughed and looked back at the court, but after watching the play for a couple of seconds his expression sobered. Andrew had just blocked yet another attempt on the goal.

“Are we not going to talk about that display by your boy today?”

Neil looked down the bench to see that the freshmen were just far enough away and too enraptured with the game to overhear the conversation. He and Andrew were keeping their relationship private, which meant that the rookies didn’t know they were involved, much less any details. Neil wanted it to stay that way, both for his sanity and because, a childish part of him pointed out, he wanted to see who would win the bet for most homophobic and most observant recruit. He didn’t put money on it, but he had his suspicions.

Matt, though, was another situation entirely. Neil found himself constantly confessing to the taller player, thankful for his general optimism and brutal playing style on court. He was low in drama and high in loyalty, so Neil found himself, for the first time in recent memory, mentally labeling Matt his closest friend. Honestly, their relationship was almost as groundbreaking as the one Neil shared with Andrew.

“Yeah, I mean, with a hit like that I could understand why he got involved. I did the same with a defender last year who got too close to him, remember?”

Matt nodded, eyebrows furrowed with the memory. Exy was a violent sport, sacks and team fights weren’t exactly unfamiliar to the Foxes, but the weird part was how obvious Andrew was being with Neil. It was unusual for Andrew to let his anger get the best of him in front of strangers. So that meant he was either really worried for Neil, or he was being honest when he said it was getting boring in the goal. At this point, the latter was more believable than the former.

“Is this going to be a big deal, though? Your attack dog? I mean it seems like a new development in the whole thing.” Neil could only shrug at the searching look Matt sent him. “God that must be weird, is it weird?”

Neil rolled his eyes at Matt, who had turned his gaze back to the Exy court as if it could answer all his questions. Smirking in amusement Neil sat back a bit, “Rephrase that, Boyd, you should know at this point that he’s not an animal.”

Groaning at Neil’s tone, Matt slumped back and searched his mind for an explanation. “You know that’s not what I meant, it’s just he’s always so protective. I’m shocked he’s not hovering over us right now.”

With an incredulous laugh, Neil gave up the appearance of paying attention to the last minutes of the game. “You may not realize this, but it’s actually the complete opposite. Have you seen me? I’m a magnet for trouble, if he was really protective he wouldn’t let me out of our room in the morning–for my own sake.” The very accurate hyperbole had Matt chuckling and shaking his head, but it was true. Neil was aware of what a danger he was to himself, but it was a side affect of having found a safe place after living his entire life on the run. Neil was getting comfortable, and that translated into carelessness.

They lapsed into a thoughtful silence for a bit longer and cheered along with the crowd when Dan shouldered her way past the back line to score a goal. It seemed like the other team’s defense was lagging just in time for the Foxes to catch their second wind.

As they watched, Abby came back to join them, bringing two painkillers that Neil swallowed dry. Despite the ice, his blood was back to pumping furiously and his bruise started to feel as if it was boiling hot against his skin.

The three of them watched as Allison took a particularly nasty hit but bounced back quickly enough to throw an insult at the back of her defender, Neil’s face scrunched in sympathy.

Lowly, Neil picked the conversation back up with Matt, suddenly inspired to convince the senior that he was capable of a normal relationship, bruises and scars aside.

            “Seriously, though,” Neil kept his voice low enough that Abby wouldn’t be able to hear them over the roar of the crowd. “If that had happened to him I would be so much worse now. I had acted out before, yeah, but that was before. Now I probably wouldn’t leave the guy alone unless I was threatened with, like, two red cards and a week of Kevin yelling. He’s just…smarter than me? I guess smart isn’t really the word but he’s far less careless than I am, anger makes me dumb, it just makes him sharp.”

            As they watched Andrew casually surveyed the court before darting, quick as a snake, to net a ball thrown from half court, right at the buzzer.

* * *

 

That night, after they both took their turns in the shower, Andrew herded Neil into sitting down on the toilet. Silently he peeled off Neil’s tee shirt and surveyed the fresh red and blue of the new bruise, splashed across Neil’s ribs. Andrew carefully pressed a finger to the blotch before turning around and leaving for the kitchen. Neil could hear him opening and closing the freezer door and when he reappeared in the bathroom threshold, he was holding an ice pack.

Neil just quirked an eyebrow at Andrew’s brusque manner as the boy sat cross-legged on the floor in front of Neil. After a moment of consideration, Andrew slapped the icepack on Neil’s chest, making him scrunch his face in discomfort.

“What gentle bedside manner,” Neil muttered and got a pinch on the thigh in response.

For a couple moments they were quiet, lost in their own thoughts, but then Neil carefully stretched his arms out from where they were hanging limp at his sides. Watching Andrew’s face, Neil draped both of his forearms over the boy’s shoulders, unsurprised when Andrew didn’t even twitch in response.

“This alright?” Neil asks as he moved to gently card his fingers through the shorter back section of Andrew’s hair.

Andrew grunted a “yeah” in response, so Neil carefully applied more pressure until he was practically bowed over him, chest pushing into the steady pressure of the icepack on his ribcage.

Quietly Neil whispered into Andrew’s hair, too honest for the time of night, “What was it today that set you off?” After a moment’s pause he continued. “I’m not demanding an explanation, I’m just curious.”

Andrew huffed in annoyance, “Sounds like that’s exactly what you’re doing.” He didn’t continue and the silence lasted long enough that Neil was convinced he was just stopping there for the night. Suddenly Andrew shifted, changed his grip on the ice pack, and leaned his opposite forearm across the top of Neil’s thighs. “Just…next time you get hit and go down, make sure you come back up. Staying down doesn’t really inspire any confidence.”

Now it was time for Neil to fall silent, as the image of that moment flashed through his eyes, but this time in Andrew’s perspective. Neil’s body going limp, falling into a heap, lifeless on the ground. Thirty seconds didn’t sound all that long, but fear had a way of pulling out the worst moments until they felt like a lifetime.

With a controlled breath, throat thick with sympathy and affection, Neil leaned down enough until he was entirely curled around Andrew, resting his forehead against the other boy’s.

They breathed together, until Neil flicked his eyes open and grinned sheepishly. “At least I’m never boring.”

Andrew growled as his eyes blinked open in exasperation but looking at the expression on Neil’s face, he could only roll his eyes in response. Andrew then reached up to cradle the back of Neil’s neck, pushing himself up onto his knees until their mouths met in a kiss.

If it was a bit more biting than normal, Neil wasn’t complaining.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't get use to this update schedule omg  
> hooray for andrew blandly talking about feelings!!!!  
> also matt boyd thank god for him


	3. Chapter 3

            Neil dealt with his bruised rib with his normal level of grace and serenity. Which meant that he ignored it entirely and kept playing like nothing was wrong. Despite check-ins from Matt and Dan at random intervals throughout practice, everyone treated him the same.

So that meant weekend plans to go into Columbia remained firmly in place.

When the five of them pushed their way through the Saturday crowd at Eden’s Twilight, Andrew pointedly shoved Neil towards their regular table in the far corner. Neil sighed and rolled his eyes but complied anyway. Andrew had apparently deemed going to the bar too taxing, leaving Kevin to join him in collecting the drinks that night.

Neil settled himself on the edge of the booth next to Nicky who was quizzing Aaron on his date with Katelyn with little to no success. To avoid being the next one interrogated, Neil looked out on the dance floor, trying to catch a familiar face among the sea of people highlighted by swirling blue lights.

In all honesty a nightclub is not a logical spot for a bunch of fucked up kids to hang out, what with the darkness and crowded anonymity, but for some reason it was the only place the five of them could agree on. It was probably due to the alcohol.

Andrew and Kevin crashed through the swarm of bodies to appear at the point of their oddly triangular table. They all downed two shots in impressive succession, feeling immediately warmer, before Nicky pulled Kevin off to dance, as per usual. It seemed to be the cue to take up their normal positions, Aaron hovering at the end of the booth and occasionally starting conversations with the wait staff he used to work with and Andrew pushing himself into the booth next to Neil so his back was no longer to the dance floor.

Now that the two of them had run out of secrets to share, Andrew had devised a new game with Neil that involved making elaborate escape plans in case of a ridiculous hypothetical emergency. He was, for some reason Neil didn’t understand, very into hypotheticals. For example: a Kill-Bill style Japanese-assassin showdown.

“I’m just saying,” Andrew shrugged after a surprisingly lengthy monologue of why ninjas were “punk bitches”, said completely straight-faced and devoid of any real emotion. “Put a sword in my hand and the fight’s already over.”

The minute Andrew said the words “Kill Bill” Neil had covered his face in what was a mix between disbelief and exasperation, but as Andrew kept talking Neil realized that it was probably better that way. He refused to surface from the cradle of his hands until the entire ordeal was over. “Have you even ever held a sword?” Neil mumbled through his fingers.

“No, what a stupid question, but it’s basically just a large knife. I’m good with knives. If a=b and b=c, then a=c.”

“Andrew, you can’t actually use the transitive property in a situation like this.”

“Why not? I made this game, I get to make the rules.”

“Speaking of rules, aren’t you trying to escape? Not trying to murder literally everyone in the simulation?”

“Jesus, Neil, they’re assassins they wouldn’t let me just leave, fucking keep up here.” Andrew quirked an eyebrow and leaned back against the booth, watching as Neil flicked a look up through his fingers. “What a drama queen.”

Neil opened his mouth to argue that if they were really looking at track records here, Andrew did have a habit of blowing things completely out of proportion, but then the crowd parted just enough to let Nicky through, looking five times drunker and ten times sweatier.

“Are you guys _sober?_ ” he hollered, leaning against the edge of the table and plopping his elbow down on the flat surface in an attempt to rest his chin in the palm of his hand, although his head was swaying just too much to pull it off convincingly.

Andrew looked down at the table and noticed that both he and Neil’s glasses of whiskey were empty. With a considering look at his smirking cousin, Andrew grabbed his glass and made to stand up, but Neil, allowing himself to be a bit lazy, caught his gaze and pushed his in Andrew’s direction.

Glaring, Andrew reached out to grab the glass with his other hand, looking as if he would rather throw it at Neil’s head than go refill it for him.

            “I fucking hate you, Josten,” He grit out before turning on his heel and stalking towards the bar. Neil just watched him go with a small smile playing on his face, amused that his first assessment of Andrew Minyard Drama Queen had been exactly on point.

            Slouching forward, Nicky made large cow eyes at Neil, “What was that?” His loud whispering caught Aaron’s attention, and he looked over at the two of them, eyebrows raised.

            Neil just returned Nicky’s worried expression with a confused one, “You mean Andrew? Who was being Andrew?”

            Nicky didn’t accept this as an answer and slapped his hands down on the table before leaning closer, keeping his voice at a loud whisper but looking around as if what he was about to say was of the highest confidentiality. “But you’re, like, a _thing,_ right?” Neil tried not to audibly sigh, and instead only nodded his head in confirmation. For some reason Nicky was endlessly fascinated by Neil and Andrew’s relationship but mostly because he didn’t think it existed. “Are you ever worried that he’s telling the truth?”

“About what?”                                               

“About hating you, obviously!” Nicky said, using what was apparently his passionate feelings towards the subject to rocket forward, grabbing onto Neil’s shoulder sharply and shaking him just enough to be annoying.

“He never lies,” Aaron said, from the other side of the table, looking unsuitably interested about the whole conversation. Neil realized that Aaron had to be drunker than he thought if he was actively participating in conversations about his brother’s love life.

Neil was convinced this was probably the most ridiculous conversation he’d had all day and he had just listened to Andrew talk about Japanese assassins for half an hour. There was really no helping the two of them. “Well you’re right,” he said, trying not to roll his eyes, “Andrew’s never lied to me. Now Nicky get away from me you smell like sugar and strawberry daiquiris.”

Nicky’s devastated look was quickly replaced by suspicion as he leaned back to squint at Neil, “How did you know what I was drinking?”

“Oh my fuckin-“ Aaron started, turning to his cousin in disbelief before he was interrupted by Andrew’s dramatic entrance. Walking up to the table, he slammed Neil’s glass of whiskey down, settling Neil with a cold stare. Andrew didn’t seem to notice the calculating looks his brother and cousin both sent him, but instead held Neil’s eyes and dared him to say something sarcastic.

With a smile, Neil just delicately gripped his glass and clinked it against Andrew’s. “Cheers,” he said, with a smirk, before throwing it back.

* * *

 

Later that night Andrew and Neil leant against the hood of the Maserati, watching Kevin sling his arm around Nicky’s waist and haul him into the house. Neil bit his lip as Nicky tripped on the porch step and almost fell flat on his face.

As if Nicky could sense his amusement, he waved a middle finger behind he back and hollered, “You know I’m graceful, motherfuckers.”

When the screen door finally slammed behind them, Neil let himself release a breath and lay back onto the hood of the car, sprawled and dizzy under the black night sky. Drinking around others still sat uncomfortably with him, he was never sure how far gone he was until it was already too late and he was sitting in the passenger seat of the Maserati, head spinning and trying not to yell “Look, see, he doesn’t hate me,” at Nicky and Aaron who were passed out in the back seat.

Nosey family members with their intrusive questions, he thought, and snorted out loud at the idea of the two of them finding out what Andrew _actually_ meant when he said he hated Neil.

The noise was enough to draw Andrew’s attention, he looked down at Neil, watching as he pushed himself back up to standing. Shifting a bit, Neil found his way in front of Andrew, his back to the house and careful to keep three inches of space between them. He lifted his arms to hover them above Andrew’s shoulders and swayed close enough that their foreheads almost touched.

They were silent for a moment, just breathing in each other’s air, brewing with the possibilities that were held in the carefully composed gap between their bodies. Neil, as always, broke first.

“Yeah?” He asked, into the space between their lips.

Andrew pulled back enough to look into his eyes, furrowing his brow in a rare show of concern, “You’re drunk, Josten.”

Neil tried not to pout at the deflection. “I’m tipsy, I’m mostly in my right mind, and I’m not asking to fuck, I just wanna kiss your neck.”

            Andrew shut his eyes and released the air in his lungs with a purposefully steady exhale. There was a moment of pause in which Neil was fairly certain Andrew was just going to push him off and tell him to knock it off. Instead, as always, Andrew defied his expectations entirely.

            Gritting his teeth and clenching his fists, Andrew quietly bit out the word “fucker” before pushing across the space in between their bodies and pressing his lips to Neil’s. It was among one of the more hesitant things Andrew had probably ever done in their attempt at a relationship, but that changed quickly, became hard and hot as Neil curled his arms around Andrew’s neck, hauling him in as close as possible.

            Andrew reached out to press his palms against the cut of Neil’s hips, pushing back with just enough force that a couple of inches of space lingered between their bodies. A part of Neil’s brain realized it was probably for the best, but the drunker part of him just hummed against Andrew’s lips and settled more firmly into the pressure.

            Pulling away, Andrew slipped his hands under Neil’s shirt and pressed his warm palms against the skin of Neil’s sides, keeping a firm grip on the narrower part of his torso, right above his hips. It set Neil’s blood at a low boil, and with a flash of inspiration he dipped his head to kiss at the soft skin on the side of Andrew’s neck. The other boy jolted and tightened his grip even further, until Neil groaned with the pressure.

            “You are the goddamn worst,” Andrew muttered, body rigid with indecision, and Neil knew he was questioning whether he should push him away or pull him in closer. Andrew made up his mind when Neil reached the spot right under his ear, nipping lightly with the edge of his teeth. With a barely contained shiver, Andrew shook Neil off and then proceeded to brace his arms and swap their positions.

            Neil’s ass hit the grill of the Maserati and he huffed in surprise, blinking in confusion and trying to settle the world rolling in his vision. When his eyes finally focused they caught on Andrew’s face, glaring and apparently clued into the fact that Neil was still not exactly sober.

            “Yeah, I know, you don’t have to say it.” Neil said, smirking and raising himself up with his forearms so that he was sitting on the hood of the car, palms flat on the still-warm metal. “You hate me, it’s mutual, we can move on now.”

            Andrew’s flat stare didn’t change, but reached out to grab Neil’s jaw, pushing his thumb into the soft give under his chin. He was understandably not impressed with Neil’s smug expression, but his body still moved closer until he was in between Neil’s thighs. Eyes unreadable as ever, he just blandly muttered, “Shut up for once.”

            Then he chucked Neil under the chin and turned away, leaving Neil behind, still blurry and now undeniably frustrated. Neil watched Andrew until he disappeared inside the house, then sighed against the drunken tiredness pulling at his center of gravity, convincing him that he should just slouch down and sleep outside, under the dark and the stars.

When he closed his eyes, though, he could still see Andrew’s face, his eyes hazel and gold in the moonlight, in the flashing club lights, in the weak dashboard light of his car. They were revealing in what little they gave away, and Neil smirked at the memory of those eyes tracking him all night.

So yeah, they may hate each other, but that didn’t stop Neil from sliding off the hood and stumbling inside to find Andrew. And that didn’t stop Andrew from holding back, waiting for him in their bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit of a short one but that's just bc chapter 4 is a behemoth of smut and nonsense  
> prepare yourselves  
> also fyi if you guys wanna ask me any questions or generally yell about how great the foxes are im on tumblr @ tastethisdawn


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to write smut and because i apparently dont half ass this type of stuff i wrote about 4,000 words of it  
> what i mean to say is  
> enjoy  
> i am also currently in the middle of finals so i edited this in procrastination, i hope some of you are also reading this in procrastination, i like to think that we're in this together

Allison demands a debriefing after every Thursday practice, which _really_ means that she demands an excuse to start drinking early in the week and uses “team bonding” as an excuse.

“If this is team bonding, why are only five of us here?” Neil asked, accepting a beer from Matt and settling into the beanbag chair discarded in front of the couch.

Allison hit him in the back of the head before turning away and combining her tequila with the margarita mix instead of answering what was a very reasonable question in Neil’s opinion.

Matt, Dan and Renee had started a very lively recap of the freshmen shenanigans while Neil looked on and they soon had three bets running on who was going to punch Jack first and whether Laura, a new dealer, had a thing for the defender Gabe or not.

It was convoluted and highly unnecessary which meant that Neil just stayed silent and sipped his beer as they argued, Allison eventually joined the fray and laid down bets Neil was sure she would see returned in full by the end of the semester.

This was a dynamic Neil was confident he was never going to understand, the need to prove themselves observant or even intuitive, cementing claims with money and fanfare. As he watched, Dan and Allison sealed a bet with shots of rum. Neil met Matt’s look of worry with a shrug.

After a while the relationship gossip shifted from the freshmen to Renee and Jean.

“So wait,” Allison said loudly, waving the hand that wasn’t holding her margarita. “Are you _seriously_ telling me that nothing happened after that? After the life saving and the whole how-could-I-ever-thank-you thing?”

Renee grinned from behind the rim of her Coke, “Yeah, I mean, a meaningful relationship doesn’t have to be a sexual one.” She shrugged at Allison’s noise of outrage, which was so dramatic it even made Neil crack a smile. He recently had the realization that he enjoyed Allison, her blunt honesty suited him far better than Renee’s softness, and while she had Dan’s viciousness, there was a shameless quality that came through that was so refreshing in its honesty.

As if she could sense Neil’s consideration, Allison turned her gaze to him. A realization flashed in her eyes and Neil watched as her smile turned sharp and clever.

There was really no way this was going to end well.

“Speaking of sexual relationships,” she said, loudly, as if everyone’s attention wasn’t already on her.

“Allison rea-“ Neil groaned, rolling his eyes away when she points a stubborn finger in his direction.

“Neil!” She cried, as if this wasn’t all planned. “I have a bit of a question for you, dear.”

Out of the corner of his eyes, Neil could tell Renee was shaking her head and Matt had face planted aggressively, internally Neil was doing the same thing.

“Yes, Allison?” He said, taking a gulp of beer in preparation.

“How does sex work with you and your monster?” Allison’s smile was unnecessarily pleased at her crass words and the resulting loud groan they produced from both Dan and Matt. Flipping her hair casually, she continued on undaunted, “Because we all know how he can be, violent, unpredictable, murderous, etcetera. So what? Is he intimate with you? Or is it, like, sex in a straight jacket?”

The room was silent as Allison smiled innocently and Neil watched her dully, raising a single eyebrow at her smugness. “Allison, you don’t know the half of it.”

This made Matt groan even louder, “I hate this conversation.”

Dan shrugged, looking between Allison and Neil, who still hadn’t broken eye contact. “I would agree if I wasn’t also uncomfortably curious.”

Apparently Allison saw something decisive Neil’s expression, because she huffed and turned away knocking back the rest of her drink. “I’ll get it out of you one day, Josten,” she said, wiping the edges of her lips with a carefully painted nail. “Now someone get me another drink.”

Renee smiled when Allison shoved the plastic cup into her hands, but stood up and obeyed anyway. If Allison didn’t understand Neil and Andrew, then at least the two boys were never going to understand her and Renee.

The “debriefing” lasted for as long as it took for Allison to finish six drinks, which translated into enough time for Neil to finish his first beer.

“Alright now,” Dan declared, swinging up to standing and pulling Matt along with her. “We’re headed out, enjoy your night kids, don’t do anything we wouldn’t do.”

“I’m not sure how much that limits us,” Neil commented, joining the group in tossing their drinks into the recycling, which was all part of Renee’s new mission to save the world, one glass bottle at a time.

“Shut the fuck up, sassy,” Dan said, smacking Neil affectionately on the arm. “You know what I mean.”

Neil followed them out and said his goodbyes as he slipped into the door of his suite. He nodded at Kevin, who was lying across the couch, watching ESPN2’s coverage of the Exy offseason. Andrew was on the opposite side of the couch, reading a thick book with seemingly angry intensity.

“We’re going to bring Bowen and Peter to practice tonight since they apparently can’t learn anything during the day time.”

“Sure,” Neil said, with a shrug, knowing that Kevin wouldn’t try and teach them more if he didn’t see some sort of promise in their playing. He decided that he was going to bring Laura too, even though Kevin was denying her existence entirely. Neil couldn’t help but feel a bit guilty that he chose her for the offensive line and ignored the way she was struggling to find her place on the team.

Sympathy felt weird to him, but he guessed it was probably time to learn.

Neil looked at Andrew again, but he hadn’t raised his eyes from his book at Neil’s entrance, so he took that as the dismissal it was and headed into the bedroom. Neil gave into the warmth that was the beer in his stomach and decided to take a quick nap. Maybe he would even have enough time to get some work done before practice.

 

* * *

 

“Shower’s yours Neil,” Bowen called as he walked into the locker room after their late night practice. Neil smiled gratefully from where he was sitting on a bench and swapped with the boys, grabbing a stall and turning on the shower as high as it would go. The steam rose and Neil breathed it in greedily.  

It wasn’t really necessary for them to take turns, but Neil still felt more comfortable all alone in the showers. After that long practice he was left feeling more frustrated than normal, just needing some time to let the hot water pound against his back.

Stripping out of his clothes, Neil sighed audibly as he stepped under the hot spray, even if it felt scorching against his shoulders. Practice, in all reality, had been completely fine. The freshmen weren’t an overnight success story, but they were making slow and steady progress. The problem, though, was that Neil couldn’t wait for slow and steady. When he took himself out of the moment and looked at the bigger picture, anxiety crawled into his chest and pressed down when he tried to breathe. The constant drive to reach perfection was still intrinsically linked with survival, if he wanted to live he had to not only play the game, but also be the best player there was.

Sometimes that fucked with his head.

Idly Neil went through the motions, cleaning his hair and his body with detached mechanical movements. He just needed to re-center himself, remember that he was part of something again, no one was going to let him fail.

After toweling off, Neil pulled on a pair of leggings and swung open the stall door to see Andrew leaning against the far wall. Flushing suddenly at his own exposed chest, Neil ran his hand through the hair that hung, wet and dark, across his forehead.

Hey,” he said, pulling his towel across his shoulders and slowly walking towards Andrew, who hadn’t moved beyond raising an eyebrow. Neil let his eyes track selfishly up Andrew’s form. His low hanging sweatpants and long sleeve black tee normally worked to hide him in the shadows but now highlighted his body against the white shower room tile. His arms were crossed in front of his chest and Neil had to bite back a smile, Andrew must hate the way Neil could never drag his eyes away. A part of Neil understood, it was weird to be seen by another person in a way that wasn’t just physical.

Stopping short, Neil let himself smile and raised a hand to run it through the short hairs at the back of Andrew’s neck. Allison had convinced them to both get undercuts recently, something about fashion or whatever, but Neil really couldn’t fault her. He ran his hand upward and knotted it in the long section of hair, smiling when Andrew took this as the invitation it was and uncrossed his arms to settle them at Neil’s waist.

“Hey,” Andrew said, finally, as Neil hummed and brought his other hand up to rub gently at the tight column of Andrew’s neck.

“Where are the others?”

Andrew shrugged and rolled his shoulders under the touch, “The freshmen headed back to campus, Kevin felt like joining.”

Neil bit back another smile and tugged at the soft hair between his fingertips, “You mean you convinced him to leave.”

“He left of his own free will,” Andrew said, digging his fingers in warning into Neil’s sides.

“How presumptuous,” Neil said, leaning forward so that Andrew had to look up at him.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Neil said and then leaned forward to seal their lips together. Andrew’s arms tightened around his waist, until Neil was plastered against his front, the two of using the wall for support.

Andrew opened his mouth to the kiss and it deepened, warm and biting and Neil couldn’t help the moan that rose in the back of his throat. Not even bothering to tell him to be quiet, Andrew instead spread one hand across the small of Neil’s back and let the other one travel up between his shoulder blades.

Neil loved kissing Andrew in a way that constantly surprised him. It was inexplicable, but had something to do with the way he could fall into it and not worry what he would become once he hit the bottom.

Andrew pulled away, his breath a bit unsteady and the tops of his cheeks flushed. His eyes caught and held with Neil’s, searching for something unnamable.

Untangling his hands, Neil pushed Andrew by the shoulders until he was flush to the wall, then he dove back in for one more kiss.

“Yes or no?” he mumbled into Andrew’s lips, before dropping to his knees.

Andrew exhaled and pulled a hand over his face, pausing for a moment. Keeping his hands firmly on Andrew’s hips, Neil waited patiently, trying to give him some space.

Shaking his head as if he couldn’t believe he was doing this, Andrew met Neil’s eyes and mumbled, “Yes, idiot.”

With a smile, Neil slipped his hands under the waistband of Andrew’s sweats and pulled them down, his palms pulling along the expanse of his muscled legs. Quickly Neil pressed a kiss to each of Andrew’s bare thighs, smiling when Andrew grunted and fisted a reprimanding hand in Neil’s still wet hair.

“Calm down,” Neil said, looking up at him through his lashes. Andrew was becoming far more interested in what was happening and his dick was beginning to swell tellingly. An embarrassingly Pavlovian response, Neil began to salivate at the promise his position implied. With sudden inspiration, Neil crossed his hands behind his back and settled back onto his shins, watching the way Andrew tensed, knowing immediately what it meant.

They were both so careful with each other at the beginning of their relationship, Neil always put enough space between their bodies, worried that he was going to make the wrong move, anxious that he was going to fuck it all up. The more time they spent together, though, the more comfortable they became, Neil casually brushing their hands together while walking, Andrew trusting him to never hold on too tight. They had quickly evolved and left Andrew’s hands off rule behind, but Neil still liked to bring it back sometimes, liked to put Andrew fully in control.

Moving slowly, Andrew wrapped his hand around the back of Neil’s neck, thumb hooked under his jaw. “You want this?” he asked, his other hand moving towards his hardening dick cautiously, eyes still fixed on Neil’s face.

“Please” Neil nodded and opened his mouth wide.

With steady control, Andrew slipped his cock between Neil’s lips, exhaling as Neil reflexively swallowed around the fullness, the intimacy. Groaning, Neil’s eyes slipped closed and he slowly began to bob his head, reveling in the submission and determined beyond all else make Andrew feel good. He wanted to give his entire body to this moment, sucking greedily and humming as Andrew carefully thrust deeper into Neil’s throat.

“Fuck,” Andrew hissed, hitting the back of Neil’s throat. Relaxing, Neil sunk down even further until his lips were wrapped around the base. “Fuck you,” Andrew growled, fisting his hand Neil’s hair and pulling him off, moaning at the long pull of suction as Neil pressed his tongue against the underside stubbornly.

Looking up, Neil tilted his head, considering. With a wry smile and croaky voice, said “I have lube in my locker, if that’s an offer.”

Andrew just rolled his eyes, and, with a warning tug that sent Neil shivering, plunged his cock back into Neil’s mouth.

Neil sunk back into it, goose bumps rising against the cold air that circulated through the room, knees aching from title he was kneeling on. He shivered and groaned at the publicity of it, the vulgarity, sucking dick under bright lights and white tiled walls. Slowly, Andrew pulled back before fucking deeper, fuller, anchoring Neil with the physicality.

Running out of breath, Neil huffed through his nose and Andrew let his cock slip out from between his lips, unconcerned by the mess he was making on Neil’s chin. Looking down with consideration, Andrew didn’t let go of Neil’s hair but watched the way he wiped his mouth with the back of his hand.

Turning Neil’s head up so they were making direct eye contact, Andrew managed to ask a question without sounding as if he was particularly curious, “Why exactly do you have lube in your locker?”

Neil hid a smirk behind his wrist and shrugged, “Gotta keep our options open.”

Holding an unknowable look, Andrew’s eyes, dark gold in the fluorescents, flicked down to where Neil’s cock was obscenely tenting the front of his leggings, to the expanse of his abs, tensed and flexed.

“Alright,” Andrew said, dropping his hands with an upward nod. Neil scrambled to his feet, watching in shock as Andrew kicked off his sweatpants.

“Seriously? Andrew are you shitting me?” Neil hissed, feeling like his world was turning sideways, he had to stop himself from reaching down to squeeze his cock, overwhelmed by how hard he was at the very promise in Andrew’s words.

“Is that a no?” Andrew asked, crooking an eyebrow at what was most likely the frantic look in Neil’s eyes.

“Fuck, it’s a yes, it’s definitely a yes.”

Neil had never considered the distance between the showers and the locker room until that very moment, rushing to his locker and abandoning any composure because he knew Andrew was following close behind.

It was true that Neil had tucked lube in his locker, there was an unused bottle hidden in the top behind his extra towel, it’s just he never imagined this was how it would be used. Logically he imagined them escaping after a game, or a grueling practice, and having nothing but the car and the clothes they showed up in. But now Neil was vibrating with anticipation of what was about to follow.

Turning around and slamming his locker shut, Neil was greeted with a familiar scene, but now Andrew was not just leaning against the lockers across from him, but methodically pulling on his dick, eyes heavy on the expanse of Neil’s chest. Neil couldn’t help but flush, his entire body growing hot at the way Andrew wanted him. It wasn’t overt, it wasn’t uncomfortable, but it was burning and intense and set Neil’s skin aflame.

“Here,” He said, tossing the small bottle over at Andrew, who caught it effortlessly, momentarily looking down to see that it was their favorite brand. Neil saw the way his left cheek twitched, he liked to think that Andrew would smirk if it weren’t for that carefully constructed mask of indifference.

Instead, Andrew just pulled his eyes up and kept them, careful, on the curve of Neil’s jaw, the slope of his neck. Moving forward, he stopped a hand’s breath away from Neil and then reached up to grab Neil’s chin.

“Still yes?” Andrew asked, but barreled on before Neil could reply. “Still yes even though someone could walk in right now?” Neil nodded wildly and tried to catch his breath that sped up without his permission, Andrew apparently didn’t believe him. “Yes even though someone could see you like this, see me fucking you?”

His voice didn’t reveal anything, didn’t hint at the way he knew his vulgar words would affect Neil, but secretly his blood was pumping faster than ever. Biting back a groan, Neil nodded. “Yeah, Andrew…yes.”

Abruptly Andrew pulled him forward in a heavy kiss, pressing their bodies tight together and slipping his other hand, still holding the lube, around Neil’s waist.

When he pulled back, they were both out of breath.

“Turn around.”

Neil complied, letting himself be rotated until he was facing the off-white lockers. When Andrew moved to finally take his pants off, Neil inhaled shakily and pressed his forearms to the cold metal, letting his head fall so that it was pressed right on top of his stacked hands.

“Shit, Andrew,” Neil mumbled, turning his mouth into his forearm as Andrew’s hands, a bit cold against Neil’s hot skin, grabbed at his hips and, with a sharp movement, tugged backwards until Neil’s body was at more of an angle, the small of his back curved and ass exposed.

Slowly trailing his hand down Neil’s side in a way that felt more calming than claiming, Andrew was as silent as ever. It was alright, though, Neil made enough noise for the both of them.

When Andrew’s index finger, covered in lube, finally reached Neil’s entrance he keened high in the back of his throat. There was no reason for him to be losing it so quickly, but it was something about the over stimulation, about the bright lights and the hard surfaces and Andrew, a constant at his back.

Mercilessly Andrew stretched Neil open, slipping in a second finger and scissoring them until Neil was shaking with the intrusion, feeling full to bursting and exposed all the while. He knew that Andrew was watching every tick, every movement that slipped through unconsciously. It was proven when Andrew crooked his fingers just right and Neil slumped with the unbearable pleasure of it, biceps bracing and hands clenching at the way his dick pulsed, feeling hot and heavy where it was hanging between his thighs.

“Fucking _hell_ ,” Neil grit while unclenching his hands, feeling the way his fingernails cut into his palm in an attempt to distract from the pure overwhelming itch that was his arousal, loud and shameless.

Maybe in an attempt to distract, Andrew slid his hand, weighty, atop Neil’s tailbone. With a groan, Neil’s back bent under the suggestion of that pressure and slammed one hand flat on the metal lockers, uncaring as they shuddered under the vibrations.

“Just fuck me already, goddamn,” Neil wanted to demand, but it came out more like a whine as Andrew deftly twisted inside of him, setting his entire body on fire.

Just as suddenly Andrew pulled both of his hands away entirely and left Neil panting and propped against the lockers. Neil tried to take this moment to bring himself back to equilibrium, back in control, but the noise of Andrew tearing open a condom behind him, opening the lube once more, had him burning. Sweat rolled down his neck and the small of his back, cooling immediately in the high AC of the empty room.

Goosebumps raised on his arms as he felt the air move to meet Andrew, repositioning himself at Neil’s back.

With a breath, Andrew’s right hand came back to its place on Neil’s side, thumb rubbing idle circles by his hip. Under his breath, Andrew muttered, “Look at you.”

“Careful,” Neil said, turning his head so that his cheek was pressed against the locker, catching the suggestion of Andrew in his periphery. “If anyone were to hear you they’d think you liked me.”

Andrew huffed and Neil could imagine the way his eyebrow would raise, unamused. Neil had to turn his face forward so Andrew couldn’t see the way his lips pulled back in a grin.

Apparently he knew well enough, because Andrew ran his hand until his palm was right under Neil’s abs, pressing firm right above the base of his dick. The pressure, so close to where Neil wanted, but so far away, had him moaning again and shifting forward as if he could convince Andrew to slip his hand around his cock, just this once.

“Careful,” Andrew parroted, sarcastic, “If anyone were to hear they’d think you were getting fucked.”

Neil couldn’t decide if he wanted to moan or laugh and settled for a mix of the two. “Shut up,” he said, spreading his arms above his head so that his elbows were next to his forehead, forearms pressed to metal, hands searching for purchase somewhere above his head. The move was just enough to push his ass out a bit more, enough to have Andrew’s hand slide down a half inch closer to his dick. “Let’s give the people what they want.”

“Idiot,” Andrew growled but pressed the tip of his cock to Neil’s entrance anyway. Neil was just a little smug.

Andrew slid in further and Neil groaned loud and long, particularly when Andrew’s hand pushed up on his abs, keeping him in place. The stretch was just what he wanted, just enough to make Neil feel present, make him feel protected.

“Fuck fuck fuck,” Neil keened when Andrew was fully seated, hips against the flesh of his ass. Finally Neil was full and grounded and his eyes almost rolled back in his head because of the pleasure. The hand on Neil’s stomach had him on edge, the heavy weight of it outside playing with the splitting ache that was Andrew’s cock inside. Andrew’s other hand traveled to Neil’s shoulders, cementing itself on the muscles flexing and twitching with exertion. Neil almost wanted to cry. “Go go, fuck me Andrew, holy shit.”

Andrew always did do whatever Neil asked.

He took what he wanted while holding Neil together by the seams. Andrew’s hands were gripping his body in all the right places, setting him alight and keeping him right at the edge. Pistoning his hips, Andrew hit Neil’s prostate on the upstroke, causing him to melt against the locker and shake with the exertion. The slap of their bodies together echoed through the empty room and sent Neil moaning louder, as if he was competing with the noise.

“I have to come,” Neil gulped, mouth hanging open and dry. “Let me come, Andrew, please.” His words rose and fell with the way Andrew fucked into and out of him, claiming and grounding and holding Neil up, as if the world was falling out from under his feet.

“Yeah?” Andrew panted, pounding in harder until he hit Neil’s prostate every time. Short nails scrambling on the flat metal, Neil choked out his orgasm, surrendering to the way it rolled through him. A distant part of him realized that he just came all over his locker and Andrew was really never going to let him live that down, but he was too warm and still rolling with aftershocks to pay much mind.

Andrew followed soon enough with a groan, hand curling until there was no way there wouldn’t be bruises tomorrow.  

The room was now marked by loud pants, as Neil and Andrew slumped, desperately trying to catch their breaths. Slowly Andrew pulled out and Neil felt him stumble back until he hit the lockers on the other side. Turning around, Neil caught his eyes and didn’t stop the smile that spread across his face.

“Don’t you dare,” Andrew said, pointing a finger at Neil’s expression, but it wasn’t as threatening as usual, breathing heavily and boneless and sweaty.

Neil just shrugged and walked, lose and pleased, towards Andrew. For a moment Neil stopped and felt the way the endorphins rushed through his limbs, beat in his bloodstream pleasantly with every deep breath he took.            

He bent forward suddenly and pressed a kiss to Andrew’s forehead. When he pulled back Andrew looked at him skeptically, but Neil could only shrug.

“I think I have to take another shower,” he said, wrinkling his nose and letting some of his bodyweight rest on Andrew’s chest, cheek pressed against his temple.

“God, you’re stupid,” Andrew said with a sigh, but he grabbed the back of Neil’s neck anyway and pulled him down to return the favor, kissing the center of Neil’s forehead.

Out of everything that happened that night, it was that kiss that made Neil smile so hard he had to hide his face in Andrew’s neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> also fuck the forehead kisses this was totally inspired by a text post on tumblr but i DONT REMEMBER WHERE ITS FROM   
> i just love forehead kisses pls spread the love


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bit of a warning for this chapter - some hostility and gay slurs thrown around, also flippant uneducated remarks about mental illness  
> just so you know!  
> Enjoy :)

“Are there seriously no seats left?” Dan groaned as she followed Neil into her suite.

Mentally he groaned right along with her as his eyes scanned the Foxes all collected in the living room. Apparently his previous snarking had gotten to Allison, because this Thursday her post practice gathering was extending to the entire team. In fact, she had stood on top of the locker room bench and hollered loud enough that her voice echoed “if any of you assholes want to drink beer and watch a movie come to my room. You must shower first, you are not allowed in my room if you smell like Exy. I will not hesitate to fillet you.”

Neil was going, which meant that Andrew would go, and _that_ meant that Kevin would go. In all, it was a perfectly devised system to get groups that rarely interacted to spend a good couple of quality hours sitting (albeit silently) together.

So Andrew had driven Neil, Nicky, Aaron, and Kevin back to their dorm and everyone grabbed a shower. In an attempt to get homework done before what was likely to be a very sloppy night, Neil offered to take the last shower and managed to knock out about half of his statistics problem set in the meanwhile. At the time he felt rather smug, now, though, he wasn’t sure if that was the best idea.

Dan had met him in the hallway, a half hour late due to a meeting she had with Coach about media coverage or whatever. She slung her arm around his neck and promised to fill him in tomorrow.

“Sorry babes,” Allison said with a shrug from her spot on the couch, lips curling at the way Dan pouted in her direction. “Also hey, Neil, grab me a beer,” she said lazily waving somewhere behind her. With a snort Neil followed the vague directions to the fridge and grabbed three cold Bud Lights, turning around to hand one to Dan before wandering back over to the sitting area.

Honestly, he would be more irritated about all this if not for the fact that the entire team had showed up for "bonding." The veterans had taken their seats first; Allison was curled into the corner cushions, idly scrolling through Instagram with Renee in a bean-bag by her feet. In the middle of the couch was Kevin, who had apparently managed to get into a one-sided argument with Andrew. The blond was sitting bored and unaffected, an arm slung over the back of the couch and the other clutching a bottle of Jack Daniels. Aaron had grabbed the second beanbag chair and was staring at his phone intently, Neil knew it was his waiting-for-a-text-from-Katelyn face from extensive exposure to it. Nicky was shifting through the surprising amount of DVDs Allison had tucked into the bookcase but Neil could see his coat and phone protecting the last available spot in front of the couch.

The freshmen had filled in all the gaps, Bowen and Laura were chatting on the floor while Peter had grabbed the desk chair and was leaning down to join a conversation between Claire, Jack and Gabe.

It was kinda cute, Neil felt himself unconsciously grinning. Dan looked over at him and he knew they were wearing matching expressions, he guessed this was what pride felt like.

Slightly off center, Matt was slouched into an armchair, he patted the arm of it and gestured them both over.

“Neil, if you want to sit on the arm of this you totally can,” Matt said smiling up at them, spiky hair still wet and in disarray from the mandatory shower he had taken.

“Babe what the fuck? What about me?” Dan huffed in mock outrage, tossing her backpack into the corner to deal with later.

“Um, you’ll sit on my lap? Obviously,” he scoffed back, but with a wide smile on his face.

From somewhere behind them, Nicky barked a laugh. “Matthew, I know it’s your wet dream to have both your favorite people in a cuddle pile, but even I gotta admit that’s kinda weird.”

Matt wasn’t even affected by Nicky’s words, just sticking out his bottom lip in a faux pout and looking between Dan and Neil pleadingly.

Rolling his eyes Neil just smiled down at him and patted his shoulder, “Thanks for the offer but I’m actually with Nicky on this one.”

“Mean,” Matt said, but didn’t look put out any more when Dan finally relented and vaulted over the side of the arm chair, landing heavily in his lap with an audible “oof.”

“It is a good idea, though,” Neil heard Nicky continue and looked over to where he was trying to figure out how to work the DVD player, pushing impatiently at every button available. “Neil why don’t you just join Andrew?”

Neil’s started in surprise at the blasé tone and when Nicky didn’t hear a reply, he turned around to wiggle his eyebrows suggestively. Apparently he was getting on board with the whole idea of Andrew and Neil’s relationship, either that or he wanted to see how far he could push this before getting a rise out of Andrew.

Neil turned around to see if it was working, but Andrew didn’t seem affected at all, just staring off into the middle distance. When Neil looked over the movement caught Andrew’s attention and he turned his head to meet Neil’s eyes. He must have heard, but he didn’t say anything, just raising a single eyebrow in question.

Apparently he wasn’t entirely against the idea. With a small shrug Neil navigated his way back over to the side of the couch closest to the door.

“Hey,” he said softly once he was at Andrew’s side. Without acknowledgement, Andrew elbowed Kevin hard in the side. Hissing, Kevin glared at both of them but still read between the lines and moved closer to Allison. A bit of shifting and suddenly there was just enough space that Neil could slide in.

Gingerly, Neil hopped over the arm of the couch and tucked himself into the corner, grabbing the whiskey out of Andrew’s hand and taking a big swig. Andrew had carefully kept enough room between himself and Kevin, but that sacrifice meant that Neil was practically half on his lap.

Thankfully Nicky hit the light switch at the exact moment Neil made that realization, and everyone’s eyes were already glued to the noise suddenly blaring on the TV screen. Suddenly swallowed by the darkness, no one could see the way Neil turned red at the sudden contact. Carefully he offered the bottle back to Andrew, but capped it when the other boy shook his head, apparently neither of them were drinking any more tonight. Quietly Neil dropped the whiskey on the floor next to his beer.

He turned back to the TV as the screen flashed the words “The Fox and The Hound,” Renee squeaked in excitement but one of the freshmen groaned audibly.

“Are you trying to make us all cry?” Laura chided Nicky, leaning over to smack his leg as he made his way to the back of the room. He ignored her, though, in favor of staring at the way Neil was shifting in between the arm of the couch and Andrew’s side. Eyes widening he made a truly remarkable face that would have made Neil smile in any other situation, but instead he just glared until Nicky looked away and sat down.

Suddenly nervous, Neil started picking at his fingers and watched as Nicky leaned over and whispered something in Renee’s ear.

Before he could see what her reaction was, Andrew reached out and grabbed Neil’s hand. Starling, Neil looked over at Andrew, who was shaking his head, unimpressed. Now without any outlet for his nervous energy, Neil started to bite at his lips.

Andrew’s hand tightened around Neil’s and his eyes flickered down to his mouth and stayed there. Suddenly flushing even hotter, Neil returned the grip on his hand and shifted until his ass was in the corner of the couch and his legs were curled up on top of Andrew’s, body shifted so his rib cage was perpendicular to the back cushions.

“Good?” he whispered to Andrew in between lines of dialogue running in the background.

Andrew just nodded and let go of Neil’s hand, moving to accommodate the new position, sinking, heavy, into the cushions.

Suddenly Neil realized that they hadn’t done any of this before. They weren’t particularly tactile. Yeah, sometimes after sex they found themselves sated and tired, plastered, sweaty, against each other. Before long, though, one of them would grumble and shoves the other off. Then they would just lie next to each other, hold hands, whisper into the spaces, trade kisses.

But here they were, curled into each other, in a dark room surrounded by practically everyone they knew. It was a bit much, but when Neil grabbed Andrew’s hand again there were no complaints, so it wasn’t that bad.

Neil let the noise from the movie wash over him and examined Andrew’s hand with both of his own, running his fingers over knuckles and scars, bruises and callouses. He fought the itching feeling to kiss each finger, some sort of penance for the fact that he needed hand holding in the first place.

He glanced over at the screen occasionally, smiling at the baby fox darting around and trying his best to keep up with the plot line.

At some point he realized that a majority of the people in the room were crying, apparently he was really out of it. Looking up Neil caught Andrew staring at the movie, his eyes free of tears but eyebrows scrunched in concern. Neil could safely say that he had never seen Andrew show half as much compassion for a living human.

Apparently it was a sad movie.

Shrugging Neil decided it was best to just rest his head against the side of the couch, tangle his fingers with Andrew’s and attempt to catch up on the sleep debt he has collected over the past week.

It was a bit dizzying, closing his eyes against the bright Technicolor screen flashing in the dark room, but Andrew starts stroking the back of his hand in a move that must have been unconscious and it grounds Neil enough that he felt himself drifting. Andrew was warm and solid, a radiator against Neil’s side, and it was the most comfortable he could remember being in a long while.

In the end, it was Allison’s voice that woke him up.

“Ew PDA,” she giggled loud enough to startle Neil awake. Pushing himself up on his shoulder he looked around the room to see that the credits were scrolling on the screen and half of the team were investigating the way he was half on top of Andrew.

“Shut up Allison I was trying to get a picture,” Matt groaned from where he was still huddled underneath Dan, smartphone tellingly in hand.

For a moment Neil’s stomach gripped with anxiety and his eyes flicked up to Andrew’s face. He was clearly unruffled, because his eyebrows were raised in their classic unamused position, but his glare wasn’t any more aggressive than usual.

Carefully, Neil squeezed Andrew’s hand, a silent yes or no. He was shocked when Andrew tightened his grip in a quick reply.

On the floor Laura shifted to get a better view before her face broke out into a smile, “Aw I think they’re cute.”

Neil rolled his eyes in response but felt his face warming in a blush, overwhelmed at the affection reflected back at him from his teammates.

At least until someone cleared their throat. Everyone’s eyes turned to watch Jack, the freshman striker, stand up with a single eyebrow raised and his mouth snarled in disgust.

“You’re gay? Are you serious? Am I on a team full of homos?”

Suddenly the atmosphere of the entire room dropped into something a bit more defensive and a lot more volatile.

Allison was the first one to speak up, although Neil saw that Matt and Nicky were right on her heels.

“Shut the fuck up about things you don’t understand, got it? And don’t you dare use that language around here.” She snapped from her place on the couch, still curled up into a ball with her phone in hand, but instead of looking comfortable she now looked ready to fight.

Neil, on the other hand, was preparing to run, his body tensed in preparation for whatever was going to come out of the boy’s mouth next.

Matt pointed a cautionary finger at Jack, “Not everything’s black and white around here, kid. Some are gay, yeah, but for others gender doesn’t matter. Neil doesn’t even swing either way.”

Still and deadly under his hands, Andrew tensed noticeably as Jack just looked around the room, unphased by the show of support. The left side of his mouth tilted up into an unimpressed smile. “Oh alright, so he’s stringing the psychopath along for the hell of it, then?”

If the room wasn’t already quiet, it was now absolutely silent. Neil could see the way anger was burning under the surface of his teammates faces. They didn’t intervene, thankfully, but that was probably more for Andrew’s sake than anything else.

He could feel a similar aggression brewing in his stomach, and he didn’t have to look at Andrew to know that he was also thinking about the quickest way to bring Jack to a heel. Neil imagined it wasn’t pretty.

And while Andrew and him had long ago agreed not to fight each other’s battles, it was time to intervene before his boyfriend literally stuck a knife in Jack’s throat.

Tapping into the fight response growing in his chest, Neil calmly stood up to face Jack and returned his cool glance with one of his own.

“How about you get the fuck out, before I murder you just for the hell of it, yeah?” He asked, evenly, gesturing to the door with a lazy flick of his wrist.

Surprisingly, it was Aaron that backed him up from his spot on the ground, “Run you piece of shit, before some horrible accident befalls you and you get beat to a goddamn pulp.”

It was convincing enough, because Jack moved slowly towards the door, not letting his eyes leave Neil or Andrew, his face betraying that he still had more to say about them.

For a moment, he lingered in the doorway, eyes floating over to Kevin, “I can’t believe you settled for this bullshit.”

Kevin sighed, “Get out, Jack.”

Thankfully, he finally listened.

For a moment the room was silent, before it exploded with noise.

“Oh my _god-_ “

“What an actual ass I cannot believ-“

“Fuck, I’m going to have to talk to coach about this, honestly it can’t-“

Amongst all the talking, Neil leant against the side of the couch and tried to calm his racing heart down. With deep breaths he calmed himself down, convincing himself that he didn’t need to run and pushing down the adrenaline in his veins. Out of nowhere he felt Andrew punch him on the thigh.

“Ow, shit,” he hissed, but couldn’t help but smile as he looked over, predictable as always. Andrew was apparently not very thankful for the show of support, meeting Neil’s glance with an eye roll.

“Unnecessary and dramatic, nice job Josten.” He growled before shifting himself off the couch and heading towards the door, grabbing his coat and bottle of whiskey on the way. Looking around at his teammates still gossiping, Neil managed to catch Dan’s eye.

“We’ll deal with it later,” she mouthed, waving him away in dismissal.

As Neil moved to recycle his beer he heard the conversation in the room taking a turn.

“Okay though really, Nicky why did you have to pick such an emo movie?” He heard Peter moan though the chaos.

Renee laughed as Nicky gestured in what was probably supposed to look like innocence. “I didn’t know it was _that_ sad! I just wanted something we could all relate to.”

“The only thing we can all relate to is a literal fox that no one trusts?”

“Well when you put it _that way-_ “

Neil closed the door to the girl’s suite with a chuckle and turned towards the stairs.

* * *

Like clockwork, Andrew pushed a cigarette into Neil’s hands when he took a seat on the edge of the roof. They both lit up and stared across Palmetto’s campus, lamplights glowing in the orange of the late fall sunset.

It was peaceful, a welcome homecoming after the storm that crashed inside.

Thinking about it made Neil take a drag, exhaling smoke into the still air. He didn’t argue when Andrew pushed the bottle of Jack into his stomach, instead grabbing it by the neck and taking a sip, wincing against the way the liquor burned in his throat.

When Andrew moved, Neil slanted a gaze in his direction but didn’t flinch when he grabbed his bicep. Andrew gently tugged until Neil got the hint and rolled off the small ledge. Settling the bottle somewhere behind him, Andrew shifted until they were sitting across from each other on the sticky tar of the rooftop.

“Yes or no?” He said, familiar and flippant, as if he couldn’t care less about the answer.

Neil felt all of his edges soften, “Yes, idiot.”

Andrew leaned forward and pressed their lips together warmly, a contrast to the brisk air. The touch was one of comfort, of acknowledgement, of smoke and forever.

When Andrew pulled back, he met Neil’s eyes with a calculating look. Stubbing out his cigarette, he gestured Neil forward.

“Come ‘ere.”

“What?” Neil asked, tilting his head in confusion, but grabbing Andrew’s outstretched hand anyway. Directed with a tug, Neil crawled forward until he was straddling Andrew’s folded legs. Wrapping his arms around Andrew’s shoulders, he gently sat down, resting his weight on Andrew’s thighs. Neil scratched hands through the short hair by the nape of Andrew’s neck, before closing his eyes, taking a deep breath. During his time on the run there was no time for affection, and his mother was never big on it in the first place. Physicality was violence, the two were inseparable. Now, though, it seemed like both Neil and Andrew were learning how to use their bodies for something that wasn’t destruction. They were outside of the storm, calm waters, sunset pink nights.

Neil leaned down to meet Andrew’s mouth in a kiss. They stayed tangled up on that roof until the sky grew dark, two parts of their own secret system, kissing and holding each other tight in the lingering heat of the day cocooned between their bodies.

Neil pulled back to look at Andrew, a soft grin playing on his face as he watched the way the indigo of the sky played in his eyes. “You good?”

Andrew snorted and looked at the place where Neil’s neck met his shirt. “I cannot imagine why anyone would question the way you’re attracted to me, junkie.”

Neil just kissed his jaw and didn’t mention the way Andrew’s pulse beat faster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this sure is a late update folks!!!  
> But one more to go! thanks for all the comments and kudos :))) hope you enjoy the chapter  
> sending lots of cuddly exy vibes


	6. Chapter 6

If Neil were to describe the Foxes as a whole, he could use words like loyal or passionate, but in reality they were just a bunch of nosey fuckers. So it was safe to say that he was surprised when it took them just over a week to notice the tattoo.

Over the din of the locker room after practice one Tuesday night, Kevin, the generally accepted most oblivious teammate, made the discovery. It took a minute for his exclamation to be heard, the team was vibrating with a sort of manic excitement with the approach of Winter break. The promise of an Exy-free week—no scrimmages, no laps, no drill—seemed too good to be true. Kevin’s tone, though, was just sharp enough to cut through any and all conversation, directing the locker room’s eyes with a startled point.

“What the _fuck._ ”

Everyone’s head swiveled to find Andrew at the other end of Kevin’s gaze.

Bored and unamused by the attention, Andrew was half ready to fight everyone for simply looking at him. When the Foxes realized what caused Kevin’s exclamation, though, the staring turned into speechless gaping.

Andrew didn’t seem to like that any better, tensing in displeasure but remaining immobile regardless. What everyone was transfixed by was the new tattoo on his right bicep, hovering just over where his armbands began at the elbows. Neil could admit, even after extensive exposure to the tattoo, that it was cool as hell and perfectly fitting for the goalkeeper. In dark black lines was a knife, inked in the traditional American style, and unapologetically branded diagonally across his arm.

Andrew hadn’t talked the design over with Neil, much less given him any forewarning. It was simple: one night Andrew appeared in the threshold to their bedroom and declared that he was going to get a tattoo. Neil, who was at the time reading an outrageously boring book for his English literature class, shrugged, and rolled off his bed to join him.

They ended up somewhere in Columbia, with a tattoo artist that was expecting them.

“Do you have anything you want in particular?” He had asked Andrew and pulled out a flash sheet full of predesigned pieces. Neil gave the designs a cursory glance, before watching Andrew’s face as he examined the choices. There was short silence before he pointed decisively to one in the corner, tucked next to a black rose.

“That.”

Now everyone was inspecting the switchblade solemnly, with its notably sharp edges and black handle. Neil could imagine the way they were all trying to decide what they were allowed to say about the new ink. For once it was Andrew pushing the prewritten script of interaction between the upperclassmen and the monsters, compliments

A couple weeks ago, Andrew had randomly decided to get his ears pierced and appeared at practice with black plugs, a new addition that everyone but Renee ignored. She simply smiled, pointed at them, and remarked “nice.” Neil realized that this was really the best way to go about talking to Andrew – monosyllabic, straightforward – especially when she only got a grunt in response.

Neil caught Andrew’s eye from across the room and smirked at the irritated look on his face. Andrew just rolled his eyes and finished pulling on his long-sleeve black shirt, tugging it down around his torso so that the mark was finally hidden from sight.

Slowly everyone went back to what they were doing before, but not before Matt offered Andrew a smile.

“That’s a real awesome tat, dude,” He said with a nod towards Andrew’s arm, as if he needed a hint.

Turning back to his locker, Andrew just offered, over his shoulder, “Didn’t do it for your approval – bro.”

The word slipped out of his mouth covered in bored sarcasm, but Matt seemed to take it as a miraculous advancement in their relationship, because he looked over at Neil with a beaming smile and two thumbs up.

Neil couldn’t help but grin back. Nonviolent sarcasm? Alright, that did call for a bit of a celebration.

A couple minutes later Neil had grabbed the last of his stuff and shoved it into his duffle, turning to meet Andrew and the others where they were waiting to head to the car. As they were walking over to the parking though the gym’s side passages, Nicky sidled closer to Neil and leaned down to hiss in his ear.

“Jeez warn a guy, maybe? Why didn’t you tell us about the tat?”

Neil just shrugged unapologetically, “Didn’t think I had to, really.”

A brief pause before, “Why did he get it?” Nicky’s eyes were fixed on Andrew, who was walking with Kevin a couple feet ahead in silence. He definitely knew what, or rather who, they were whispering about.

Neil wasn’t one for lying, but there was no real way to answer Nicky’s question, or at least, there was no way to answer the question in a way he would believe.

The thing was, Andrew was doing better, a lot better. No matter how much he wanted the team, or even Neil, to believe that this new addition was just a whim, some permanent warning about the knives he kept under his sleeves, Neil knew that it was something so much more personal.

He settled with shooting Nicky a sideways look and drawling, “Why don’t you ask him yourself?”

With a snort, Nicky drew away, realizing that he was getting nowhere, “I’m curious not suicidal.”

When they finally got to the Maserati, Neil took his new spot in the front, on Andrew’s right. He had long ago nudged Kevin out for the seat and it amused Neil to no end when he would catch the striker staring out the back window in stony silence, definitely pouting. At least he wasn’t Nicky, with the perpetual middle seat.

Neil curled up on leather seat and rested his head against the passenger window, staring out at the campus as Andrew revved the engine and pulled out of the student parking lot.

The thing was, Neil couldn’t stop the way his mind constantly drifted back to Andrew. It wasn’t particularly hard since they spent practically all of their time together, but even now Neil found himself glancing over.

Andrew has somehow perfected the poker face, even now he was staring out the windshield impassively, not giving a single thought away. Neil’s eyes, though, caught on the black earrings, on the spot he knew that tattoo was hiding, at the Adidas jacket and Camel Blues tucked into the pocket. These were new, and for some reason no one else noticed the connection. Andrew used to dress like a shadow, dark enough to slip between the cracks, spending just enough money to piss people off and get as fucked up as possible.

This change, though, this new headfirst dive into marking himself individual, human, meant that he was spending money on himself this time. Andrew was being blatantly obvious when he said he wasn’t doing this for anyone, he was doing this so that he could look at his reflection unflinchingly in the mirror. Neil knew something about that.

The dark sports car slid smoothly into the team’s reserved parking spot in front of the tower of suites. Aaron hopped out without a remark, waving at Nicky and Kevin and disappearing, as he did every night, to Katelyn’s dorm. Kevin and Nicky also slipped out of the back seat and headed up to the dorm. When Nicky realized Neil wasn’t following, he turned around with a questioning look. Slowly opening the side door Neil waved him on and loitered around, waiting for Andrew to grab his bag from the truck before walking alongside him back to their room.

Andrew didn’t acknowledge Neil’s presence much less mention it, but it was far harder to voice gratitude than complaints, and Andrew wasn’t really one for talking anyway.

They tracked their way upstairs, heading straight to the dorm instead of the roof this time, in need of getting actual work done since the school year had started up. Neil was balancing four classes this semester—applied statistics, comparative English literature, Russian I (which he and Andrew took together), and, his favorite, computer science. Comp Sci was easily the most fun Neil had ever had with homework, but that didn’t mean it wasn’t time consuming, in fact he spend most of his very little free time plugging away on his new laptop and figuring out how to perfect his codes.

Getting to the suite Neil went right to his computer, still charging on the desk, and, predictably, back to his Unix system. Andrew disappeared wordlessly into the bedroom, but not before passing a hand through Neil’s hair and leaving with a sharp tug. Neil’s smile stayed with him long after he left.

His content mood didn’t last for very long, and an hour into the first task Neil could safely say that he was getting nowhere fast. With an annoyed groan he picked up his laptop and tugged the charger out of its plug before padding his way to his room.

Andrew was splayed out on his bed this time, but looked up from the giant tome he was reading when Neil barged in and dumped all of his things on the floor.

“Do you want to help me threaten my Comp Sci teacher with violence in order to get an extension on the project?” He asked, idly, while rooting around his drawers for a more comfortable tee shirt.

“Too many open ends, we can’t control a situation like that. Far safer to just torture him,” Andrew offered blandly. Neil looked over his shoulder as he shed his shirt for an older one with a hole in the armpit, just in time to catch Andrew’s eyes tracking the movements.

Hiding a smile, Neil gingerly stepped over the mess he’d made of the floor to stand in front of the bed. “Yes or no?”

Andrew looked at the way Neil was bending over, moving slowly enough to give him time.

“Whatever.”

Neil took that as confirmation enough and crawled into the bed, tucking himself upright between Andrew’s horizontal body and the wall. Throwing his socked feat over Andrew’s waist, Neil tucked his heels into the narrow part of his hips.

Maybe it was just Neil’s imagination, but Andrew seemed to move a little closer into the physical contact. What definitely wasn’t his imagination, though, was the way Andrew had been metaphorically doing that all year. Neil was a steady source of affirmation for Andrew, and the more he leaned into this the more Neil wanted to extend.

It started with small, stupid things, like remembering his coffee order when they met in the middle of day at the campus café (vanilla, cream, two sugars) or whispering German compliments into his ear (“Looking good today, Minyard,” had started out as a way to annoy but slowly morphed into an honest confession). But the more Neil gave, the more Andrew seemed to thrive. The thing was, Neil got it. Neil knew what it meant to be reminded that he was present in the world, he was alive, safe, existing not just for the sake of existing.

Carefully Neil reached out to trace the spot he knew the tattoo was hiding, despite the layer of clothing between their skin.

Andrew huffed, rolled his eyes at the sentimentality, and turned his eyes back to his book. Glancing over, Neil realized it was Anna Karenina in the original Russian and balked – yeah no he’ll leave that to Andrew.

Instead he pulled his phone out of his pocket and flipped it open to read through the latest text Matt had sent. It was a picture of the house he and Dan were about to place an offer on. With a smile Neil sent of a text back wishing him good luck. Starting that summer Matt and Dan would be sharing a small apartment off campus, Matt would split his time between the dorms and there while Dan would use that as a base camp before setting off into her coaching career.

Neil’s smile only grew as Matt sent a series of excited texts that made Neil’s phone buzz frantically.

With a chuckle at his friends excitement, Neil turned to Andrew, who was still slouched ontop the pillows at the foot of the bed, book propped next to him.

“Apparently Matt and Dan are getting a place for next year,” he shared, although Andrew didn’t ask. Uncaring, Andrew only hummed in acknowledgement while his eyes kept scanning the page in front of him.

Smiling at his dismissal, Neil turned back to his phone to formulate a response and considered sending a congratulations Dan’s way as well.

“Having a home that’s not a dorm would be so surreal, honestly,” Neil muttered to himself, typing away on the keyboard. “Maybe we could get something this summer or whatever,” he offered, unthinkingly.

When he didn’t even get a hum in response, Neil’s eyes flashed upward to catch Andrew staring at him, brows furrowed.

“What?” Neil asked, suddenly self-conscious. Shit, had he gone too far? He began to pick at his hands before Andrew reached out to slap his thigh for him to stop.

“Did you mean it?” Andrew asked, before curling his hand around Neil’s leg, still bent over Andrew’s body comfortably.

Neil bit his lip but powered on regardless, he was already here, and while Andrew sounded uninterested Neil knew that was all defense, calculating the situation before revealing anything. “Yeah, I mean, I’d like to get a place, eventually. A place with you would really be preferable, but I mean…”

He trailed off and tilted his head in question at Andrew’s probing gaze, the ball was in his court now, it was up to him to finish the sentence.

“Yes or no?”

Neil couldn’t help but break out into a smile, “God, yes.”

Andrew didn’t even try to shift their positions, just sat up so that Neil’s legs were now curled over his lap and pulled him down into a kiss that was bruising in its intensity.

Neil was smiling into it the whole time, but groaned as Andrew deepened the kiss. Curling a hand around the back of Neil’s neck, Andrew pulled him forward in a way that twisted Neil’s torso, contorted his body until it burned from the stretch. The kiss, though, was far more important than the discomfort.

When they pulled away they were both breathing heavily, but Neil threw himself sideways so he was sitting on Andrew’s lap, arms curled around his shoulders and lips pressed to his forehead.

“Hey,” he said into his hair, scratching his fingers through the shorter sections with a grin.

“Shut up.”

“Oh sorry I didn’t know you were too cool for-“ Andrew slapped his hand over Neil’s mouth and rolled his eyes.

“Just for once,” he muttered, then swooped in to press kisses into Neil’s neck, his teeth sharp when he opened his mouth to give a little bite. Neil jolted enough to dislodge Andrew’s hand before pulling him up by the chin into another kiss, one that was hotter and deeper. Want burned low in Neil’s stomach, a crashing tidal wave of every single Andrew-centric desire. He wanted Andrew on his lips, between his legs, in his bed, on the deed to his house, on his team, at his back, forever.

Andrew’s arms were solid at the small of his back and tightened as Neil bit at his lips, gasping into his parted mouth. One of Neil’s hands went to cradle the side of Andrew’s face, the other went to grip at his bicep as Andrew bit at his mouth, nipped at his jaw.

“Fucker,” he gasped around a laugh as Andrew rolled his hips and pulled Neil as tight as he could go, their bodies burning against each other and vibrating with greed.

Neil wanted to swallow Andrew whole.

He knew it was mutual.

“Yeah?” Andrew asked in between kisses and rolling hips, the wet slide of their mouths causing Neil to moan shamelessly and ground into the feeling.

“Uh huh,” he agreed dazedly, before Andrew flipped them over and Neil landed on his back, huffing in surprise.

“I warned you,” he mumbled into Neil’s collarbone, nosing down the neck of his tee shirt and sucking a wet bruise into the skin he found there.

Neil whined a bit, but stopped short when he remembered that Nicky and Kevin were literally outside. Thank god they had a separate bedroom, but Neil flushed bright red at what they could possibly have heard anyway.

He was never going to live that down.

Neil was brought back to the moment as Andrew dove in for a kiss, distracting him pointedly from his thoughts. Curling his tongue around Andrew’s, Neil settled into the warm bed beneath him and the comfortable weight of Andrew above him.

If he was being honest, this was one of Neil’s favorite positions.

With a wet noise Andrew pulled back to sit on his heels, hovering above Neil.

“Take your pants off,” he said, before yanking his shirt off over his head. Allowing himself a quick moment to admire, Neil set to work yanking down his sweatpants, leaving him in his boxer briefs and tee. When he finally got the elastic around his feet, Andrew reached down to help pull them off his legs.

Right before tossing them to the floor, though, Andrew caught Neil’s ankle with a strong grip.

Silence, then “What is this?” He demanded, startling Neil out of his sex haze and throwing him immediately into defense.

It didn’t take long for it to click though, and he blushed at the way Andrew was staring intently at the new ink pressed into the divot behind his ankle.

“You got a tattoo?” Andrew pushed, digging a thumb into the spot, his gaze quickly falling into something unfamiliar—astonishment maybe—but it softened his eyebrows in a way that made Neil smile.

“Don’t ask questions you already know the answer to,” he said, quietly, wriggling his toes to try and shift Andrew’s grip.

Slowly Andrew released Neil’s leg until it fell somewhere around his waist.

“I hate you.”

“Ditto.”

With a movement so fluid it could have been coordinated, they met in the middle with a kiss that said the complete opposite of their words.

 

* * *

 

**2 days ago**

Andrew, for a very understandable reason, did not trust anyone touching or marking his body in any permanent manner. He never said this, per say, but Neil knew him well enough at that point to make a solid judgment call.

That meant that when Andrew announced he was getting a tattoo, Neil took that as his cue to follow along and watch his back, a precaution in case anyone tried anything.

Nobody did, of course, but since Andrew was on the defensive and generally refused to talk to anyone he could get away ignoring, Neil ended up holding most of the conversation with the artist during the 40 minute sitting.

So, it was safe to say they were on rather friendly terms.

“Neil!” the burly man said with a smile as Neil sidled up to his station in the Columbia tattoo parlor, as per last minute appointment. “What can I do for you? You said something about a quick tat?”

“Yeah, it’s really nothing, I was just wondering if I could get an outline of this, somewhere discrete?” He asked, pulling something out of his jacket pocket and gently dropping it onto the station.

“A key?”

“Yup,” Neil smiled as the tattoo artist held up the gold key in his hands, examining it critically, turning it over and rubbing his hands over the teeth like Neil had for the past two years until he memorized the way home felt under his fingertips.

“Well then, you’re in luck.”

Yeah, Neil thought, as he hopped up onto the vinyl bench, he sure was. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...this happened, thanks so SO much to everyone who was along for the ride and left so many nice comments, kudos and bookmarks!!! As always my fandom tumblr is tastethisdawn - come talk to me about andreil, the foxes, tattoos, and general tomfoolery 
> 
> Also I absolutely adore body mod and let me tell you my headcannons for these boys are extensive and exhaustive  
> (Neil gets the words "Home Free" tattooed on his knuckles, Andrew gets a foxglove flower tattooed in the same position but the opposite arm as the knife, NEIL GETS A NOSE RING, EVERYHING IS GOOD AND THEY'RE HAPPY)
> 
> much much love to everyone reading!!


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